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[11/13/09 @ 10:05AM]
Sometimes I just want to throw up the contents of my heart.

Next Year [08/31/09 @ 11:57PM]
Agenda for incoming academic year:

1. Apply for Getty Multicultural Undergraduate Internship for next summer.
2. Become BFFs with Jennifer Gonzalez so that #1 can happen.
3. Complete EAP paperwork for UC Paris Fall 2011.
4. Make money so that #3 can happen.
5. Get a job.
6. Take French again so I don't sound like an idiot if #3 does happen.
7. Have fun.

Astrology sometimes frightens me with its vague accuracy [07/22/09 @ 02:38AM]

In love they are fickle, not intentionally so but because of the basic inconsistency of their emotional nature, which has an amoral aspect to it. Their is a side to Geminians which can become deeply involved emotionally, and another, hostile to sentimentality, which stands back from a romantic situation, laughing at it and the protagonists in it, including themselves while analyzing it intellectually. Gemini subjects take nothing seriously. So, in love, in spite of their temporary depth of feeling, for the intensity of involvement lasts only while it is new, they are superficial, light-hearted, cool, flirtatious and unimaginative in the understanding of the pain they may give others.They like intrigue, the excitement of the chase, but once they have caught the prey, they lose interest and look around for the next creature to pursue.

yep. although i haven't had much experience with the very last bit to agree wholly.

[07/09/09 @ 11:22PM]
This summer is bullshit.

[06/19/09 @ 04:31PM]
Summer so far is making me feel delirious. A combination of good and bad anxiety is making me confused, I can't tell which is which!

I've started watching more Kar Wai Wong films and started falling in love again with love. I think I've surprised myself with my ability to bounce back up and not look at love, relationships and life in a painful way simply because I've had some stupid boy mistreat me.

Finding a job is proving to be pain. I gave up the idea of finding the perfect job ages ago but I still hate thinking about the idea of working at some place I'd rather not be. If any of you know of decent available jobs give me a heads up!

If all goes well I will be getting a car by the end of this summer which will enrich my Santa Cruz/L.A. experience by 500%. Hopefully this will also mean more trips to San Francisco next year= more concerts and fabulous times at gay clubs.

I'm really excited about living with my ladies Edna and Sophie next year. It's going to be the perfect pussy palace (decadent tea sets, colorful decor, and fancy sugar tongs included). YAY!

[06/17/09 @ 11:07PM]
Hello Everyone!

I guess I'm going to have to retract the statement in my last post because I do have something to say, or at least maybe feel I personally need to communicate. This is going to be the "I'm going to vaguely recollect the past events of the year" post.

To summarize it all, a lot has happened and nothing has happened. I suppose a lot of this year has followed that pattern: a chain of events that have both affected and failed to produce any meaningful significance in my life. Well, kind of. My second year away has been the most defining to date, I've fallen out of the influence of college's initial impressiveness and became more in tune with what I really wanted from it, rather than what I expected of it. A lot has come to my attention in the past year, perhaps the most significant and painful was coming to realize many peoples true character. In dealing with scandalous manipulative housemates, stupid and irresponsible boys, and scheming and inconsiderate friends (well, just one) I have found out the hard way that a lot of the people in college have a lot of growing up to do before I even want to consider being within a 10 yard radius of them. Their negligent attitude towards the feelings and value of people have only the power to silently destroy. I suppose that this is just a mandatory lesson of life, and if anything I've only derived from it a sense of the type of person I don't want to see myself become or be associated with.

I suppose a positive result of all this is that I have gained a greater sense of who I really am and what I really value. And now I have a greater ability to filter out all the douchebags that have attempted to destroy my sense of self-worth and self-generated happiness. For those who have shown me what being a truly great friend really is (Edna, I know you are on this thing..) I am forever grateful for the newfound sense of hope and optimism for have planted in me. Lol, this thing is getting cheesy but I cannot keep myself from expressing gratitude for all my good friends and the happy moments we've had.

All in all, I can say that this year has been far from perfect but despite all the shit that went down I can take comfort in knowing that I am taking from it only the best of the worst.

; )

[04/07/09 @ 11:38PM]
I don't have anything new to say about anything anymore.

[12/20/08 @ 12:34AM]
I'm in love with Sid.

Too bad he's not real.

[10/29/08 @ 02:53PM]
So, this year in SC is already loads better than the last even though I can't really explain why. Halloween is coming and I have no idea what to be. It's weird, I kind of want to just be some 60's-esque person, like an OG Bond Girl, like Vesper Lynd. Anyways...a peek at my day to day life in SC...

2ndCollapse )

Except my Christmas lights would be on and stuff, but since i took the picture with my cameraphone I needed the gross lighting.

[08/23/08 @ 02:31AM]
I really don't want to go back to fucking Santa Cruz.

Also I apologize for being M.I.A. a lot this summer, I realized I really enjoy my solitude, it kind of makes up for me having to deal with being constantly surrounded this year.

While I just recently received the names of the people I am going to live with I have no clue what it's going to be like.


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